So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize