She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
