he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
