you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
