Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it because I queefed?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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