I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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