shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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