Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
