You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
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