Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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