I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
