at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize