whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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