goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
