The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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