He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
bring money and cleavage
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize