Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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