After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize