omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
