Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
