We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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