I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
