What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My ATM looks so different sober.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
