i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
