Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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