Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
