the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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