So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
