at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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