I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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