So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize