why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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