Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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