Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
