I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
