We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
