Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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