You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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