Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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