And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
