my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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