she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
