$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
