You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
