We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Found the puke drawer
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
