I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
