I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
