I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
