you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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