It's like God shit irony all over that family
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
