"it" just moved
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
