Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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