Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
