did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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