You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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