He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
