At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have post one night stand depression
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