once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
