you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Randomize
